Almost There

Weight: 130
Pain: 3/10
Nausea: 4/10
Depression: 3/10
Tiredness: 5/10
Swallowing Difficulty: 2/10
Medications: Fentanyl Patch, Vicodin, lots of others


Its been a while since my last posting so I guess another is needed; that and because people keep asking me "How I'm doing?" a lot.

Well, I'm kind of OK. I feel a lot weaker than before which is probably because I'm not as active (I don't walk all that much, although I try). I've also been losing some weight - I think its about 5 pounds in 2-3 weeks. Its been hard getting enough nutrition since my nausea has returned (although not as severe as before), and because of the pain that I get from swallowing food. I don't get the sensation of food getting stuck in my esophagus much anymore - which is probably a good sign. But it does hurt when food passes that part; its all the damage done from radiation.

So getting enough calories is a problem. The supplements that I've bought (Ensure, Bene-calorie, Boost) all pretty much make me vomit. They taste disgusting. Since I just had an infusion yesterday things are making me more nauseous than usual. I think milkshakes from Jack-In-The-Box would be much better for me, plus I know they taste a whole lot better.

Without the pain medications that I'm getting I would not be able to go through with the treatments. The Fentanyl patch works wonders - its the best pain management solution I've ever had - better than morphine or vicodin. I'm using a dosage of 50 for the patch. The dosage is from 12.5 all the way to 100. So I'm about half-way from the maximum dosage which is a lot of pain control. There are some side-effects with the patch, though. As with lots of other pain control meds, there is the side-effect of constipation. So yeah, I've been taking lots of laxatives lately. There is also the side-effect tiredness. I feel pretty tired and get lazy easily which just makes my body atrophy; I can feel the weakness all over me. But I think I'm slowly recovering since I'm starting to walk on the treadmill again. I've also noticed that I've been quite sensitive to sounds and light. I feel much better in quite and dim environments. This is probably another side effect from the patch.

I spoke with my radiation oncologist not too long ago and she told me, to my surprise, that I only had 7 more treatments to go. Thats 7 week-days of treatments. So in a little over a week I'll be all done with radiation and chemo. Yay! After that, I'll have about 2 weeks of recovery than another PET scan. And everything looks good, I'll have surgery 2-3 weeks after that.

Dude, Where's My Hair?!

Weight: 135
Pain: 0-7/10
Nausea: 1/10
Depression: 3/10
Tiredness: 2/10
Swallowing Difficulty: 3/10
Medications: Fentanyl Patch, Vicodin

My hair loss has accelerated in the last week, so much that running my fingers through my hair would usually net about 30-50 hairs. Its also been annoying to clean up the hairs around my pillows and other places where I rest my head. So I decided to shave all of it off. The result is not as bad as I thought; I actually look pretty good! See for yourself...

Pain Medication That Works

Weight: 135
Pain: 0-5/10
Nausea: 1/10
Depression: 2/10
Tiredness: 2/10
Swallowing Difficulty: 3/10
Medications: Fentanyl Patch, Vicodin

I finally got my hands on some pain medication that actually works! The best one is the fentanyl patch which I wear on my skin for 3 days straight (read more about it here). They say its about 80 times as potent as morphine! Wow. The other drug, which you all probably know about is vicodin. I take this drug when I need instant pain relief - like before eating. What I do is crush the tablet and make it into a powder then mix it with water. This not only makes it easier for me to ingest, but also seems to make it easier to absorb into my system.

I'm continuing with my daily radiation treatment but may have to wait a little while before I start again with chemo.

Back To Work For The Last Time

Weight: 135
Pain: 7-10/10 without medication, 0-3 with temporary medication (radiation site)
Nausea: 1/10
Depression: 3/10
Tiredness: 2/10
Swallowing Difficulty: 2/10
Medications: Prilosec, Fentanyl Patch 25, lindocane formula

The nausea is pretty much gone but what took its place is extreme pain. I had an endoscopy while at my stay at the hospital and they found ulcerations at the radiation site. Obviously, this is whats causing the pain. I was connected to a PCA device at the hospital, which helped with the pain only a little. For those that don't know, a PCA is a device which releases morphine and the release is controlled by the patient.

It seems like I can't stress enough how bad the pain is. I even get pain from drinking water and a little pain from swallowing my saliva. I can't eat solid foods - that'll make things even worse. I on a complete liquid diet - or very soft foods like pudding/jello or the like. And yes, even those cause pain on a level from 7-10. The only things that seems to help is Tylenol (which causes pain when taken), and the lindocane formula (contains maalox, lindocane, benedryl). This serves to numb my esophagus and does a very good job. But, it only lasts as long as I don't drink/eat after I take it; otherwise it washes most of it away.

I'm at work right now getting some of my things and turning in some forms since I'm going on disability. I don't know how long I'll be out but it'll be a minimum of 3 months. They say they'll save my seat. I hope so =). My life depends on it. The insurance is doing a good job of taking care of the tab.

Hospitalized

Weight: 135
Pain: 7/10
Nausea: 8/10
Depression: 4/10
Tiredness: 4/10
Swallowing Difficulty: 6/10

I have to keep it short because I don't feel well at all. Even worse than last time. I've been hospitalized at SM hospital and will stay here for 3 days because of extreme pain and nausea.

Nothing is staying down in my stomach for long - I usually throw up and sometimes even with water. I feel hungry and I know I'm starving myself but there doesn't seem to be any choice - I throw up and that causes a lot of extreme pain which lasts for about 20 minutes. All of this because of two weeks of radiation treatments; I don't think the new chemo has anything to do with it.

The other thing I wanted to add is that the waiting time is pretty extreme - about 9 hours from the time I walked in the ER to actually being admitted into my own room.

Not Feeling Well

Weight: 135
Pain: 3/10
Nausea: 9/10
Depression: 3/10
Tiredness: 3/10
Swallowing Difficulty: 4/10
Medications: Prevacid, Vitamin E, Multivitamin, Tylenol

So its been two weeks since I started my new regimen of chemo-radiation (I'm taking taxotere + 5FU and daily rounds of radiation). Its been very tough for me since last week and seems like things are getting worse (in terms of how I feel) because of the treatments. The worst part of it all is the extreme nausea when I eat and drink (even water!). A few seconds after I swallow anything I feel a strong urge to vomit and I find myself fighting that feeling and to keep the food down. None of the medications that were prescribed for nausea seems to work for me: Zofran, Compazine, Kytril, Atavan. It got so bad that yesterday I went to my infusion center without an appointment and told them what was going on with me. They had me on a saline drip since they thought that I could be dehydrated from all the vomiting, and a dose of zofran (which didn't really help). One of the doctors there prescribed another drug (I forgot what it was called), but it turns out that it was so expensive - $1000 for 20 tablets, that my insurance would only pay for it if they had "direct authorization from the doctor". I guess a simple prescription wasn't good enough. I'll have to wait until next week to straighten that out.

So yes, I feel like crap. Another thing that bothers me is the sore throat - probably because of the vomiting and the stomach acid. I don't know. But that is probably also responsible for the nose bleeds that I've been having since yesterday.

But I still have my hair.