Today I started searching for EC resources on the internet. I was quite surprised that Yahoo groups actually had at least two groups dedicated to EC. Wow! But not only that, one of them showed up as the third result after doing a group search on “cancer”. I signed up immediately.
I emailed Brian and Eric today about my appointment with Dr. Ferrell on Monday, and they told me that they’ll find a way to make it to the test (ultrasound endoscopy), even though they already had important plans – such dedicated friends! I’ll meet them tomorrow at Evalina's birthday party.
I called up Kevin while driving to Sarah’s apartment today – as I promised him yesterday via text message. We chatted about what I was going through and what he thought about the whole thing. He really seemed lost for words to say to me (as I would also be if I were in his position), but I can feel his sympathy towards me which was of course expected. I reminded him again to take a chest x-ray since he smokes pretty heavily and now started coughing while I was on the phone with him. Coughing is not a good sign especially if you’re a smoker. If I can make at least one difference in another’s life then what may happen to me just might be worth it.
There was a letter for me in the mail that I have yet to open – it was a plead for donations from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. I bet they got my name from the folks at “The Los Angeles Mission” organization to which I donated money previously. No worries, though. I decided to donate some money to their cause. Some of those kids are in a lot worse position than me and they’re much younger. Those brave soles, they need all the help they can get.
It was move-in day at my sister Sarah’s apartment. It took us quite a while to get things settled just right – since we didn’t exactly agree on the placement of certain furniture and some of my things. But oh well, I shouldn’t really argue since I pay no rent and she’s practically taking care of me. She went ahead and ordered the some faux paper walls to separate her side and my side of the living room while I upgraded her Time Warner Cable Internet to 6Mb/s. This should be fast enough to stream my Slingbox and Netflix videos.
As for my general health, I feel almost no different than yesterday. I still have heartburn attacks every now and then – maybe 30 mins apart or more lasting about 5 seconds a piece (causes me to bend over a bit). I get night sweats when I’m sleeping and woke up about 3:30am – which is the normal time now for me ever since I found out about my EC. Maybe it has to do with my night sweats? I’ve been reading that night sweats are an initial sign of cancer so I’m not too thrilled about that at all. It just confirms everything that the doctor’s told me – that I do have EC. But I think I’m getting better at coming to terms with it. As I told Kevin today, I’d go crazy if I couldn’t come to terms with my condition. I think there is something going on in my throat as well – I can feel something there (perhaps from the acid reflux??). But it is not good since one of my doctors did say that my throat should also be biopsied. I also still have trouble swallowing and get Everything else seems to be going OK. I guess it helps to realize that what I’m going through is only temporary – it’ll end one way or another and that we all die eventually. Way, way back in Junior High School I became physically sick because I worried so much that I will eventually die. I didn’t know what to expect – and worried about that unknown. My mom was worried for me since I (I think) came down with a fever or something but it was all about me facing my eventual demise on Earth. Now-a-days, even before I started seeing Dr. Houston, that I understand and accept that everyone lives a limited time. Its nature, and that it must happen. Now, after realizing that I just may have more limited time than I originally had planned, it is somewhat difficult to accept – although it’s not as bad as my way of thinking in Junior High. The road ahead is indeed very difficult and although I know that I’m not alone in this journey, I must go through with it.
